How to Love Yourself (Again)


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  1. Make a list of things you appreciate and admire about yourself. If at a loss, consult with Future You. Memorize and recite it like a prayer.
  2. Let the strongest part of you mentor the weakest.
  3. Tenderly decide to be your own best friend. Check in often, with questions like “What do you need? What do you want? How can I help?”
  4. Treat your body like a temple. Time will still pass, but the years won’t ravage you. Eat well, move often, pace yourself and rest.
  5. Embrace your flaws. When you are ready to change something you will; accept the rest.
  6. Be inspired by the relatable hero within you. The degree to which you admire your own good works and efforts amplifies your magic.
  7. Give yourself a secret pet name. Whisper it to yourself when you need a healing.
  8. Keep all promises to yourself first. Period.
  9. Reach out if you’re stuck, anxious, depressed or depleted and have cracks in your pysche or wounds that dim your light. Find a support circle, therapist, self-care coach for help with the transformation. You’re worthy and you deserve it.
  10. Follow the happy, whatever that means to you.
  11. When in doubt, side with yourself. Silently brush away gossip and judgement like you’re trying to get dirt off, letting people say what they will say about your actions and motivations. There’s no need to defend or explain. You know.
  12. Bearings, bravery, comfort. These things renew the spirit.
  13. When you wake each morning, shout brightly “I’m back!” Then, look in the mirror and really smile at yourself. Try to see your gums and wisdom teeth. And shimmy if it feels right.
  14. Make up your own mind about who you are and who you are not.
  15. Flick lovingly through the pages of your life, knowing it was what it was and you can always choose something else later.
  16. Root for yourself. Life is a marathon, keep running until you get where you mean to go.
  17. At the end of each day, give thanks for who you are, what you did and what you learned.
  18. Take time to romance yourself. For some, that might mean roses or a night on the town. For others, it’s a bucket of tokens at an arcade or gardening a while. You know best what makes you feel special.
  19. Have fun, play games, block out time to unwind and squeal. If anybody asks what the occasion is tell them it’s your birthday or because you’re alive.
  20. Mind your own business. This will get you a lot further than you think and you’ll have more unhindered time to bloom and climb.
  21. Pursue yourself with curiosity. It should take an entire lifetime to unravel your own mystery.
  22. Don’t follow anyone who isn’t going somewhere you want to go. Even if it looks pretty and there are rides. Trust your bones.
  23. Compare yourself to yourself. No one else matters in the story of you.
  24. Manage your expectations. You won’t always win and you’re not always going to like your behavior, but it doesn’t have to mean as much as it seems it should.
  25. It is unlikely that you will receive any medals or monetary rewards for fiercely loving yourself, but if you do it with steady consistency, it will be its own prize.


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