The Long, Dark, Quiet Road to Everything

Photo: Mine – mural in downtown Seattle

I hate winter.

The cold, the snow, the dark, the bleak landscape – none of it appeals to me.

The days are ridiculously short and creepy with so many shades of grey.

The sun kind of starts setting after lunch.

Plus, it calls for way too many clothes. Mom never said and I don’t remember, but I have a feeling I was that toddler who willfully stripped off her clothes and shoes in search of freedom.

I’d just rather not.

I hate winter, but it loves me.

It is a Creative Spring where ideas effortlessly fly into fully-formed stories, streams and poetry so quickly that I almost can’t keep up. Things just flow. Right up there with a spa day or a trip to a sun-drenched climate is that high I get from following a single, intriguing thread of thought until it completely reveals itself.

Add to that, my other loves are cooking and pampering which pair so well with writing marathons. So, I’m known to hole up in the cocoon of my home on freezing winter weekends to write, experiment with new food and body-treat recipes, ending the night with a luxurious facial and bubble bath or a sit-sit in my sauna.

These are perfect days that completely satisfy and tell me again and again to accept the seasons and moments of my life, unfolding as they will.

Also in winter, with a fond little smile, I think of a Californian college buddy, Rob, who acted like summer was winter and treated it the same, which was mind-boggled considering we attended college in Washington, D.C. where the hawk ate sun-loving folks for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I doubled up on gloves, socks, everything and wrapped a scarf around my head and face so only my eyes were visible only to meetup with him at some point in the day and find him wearing beach clothes. A tee-shirt, shorts and sandals.

Magical thinking and loving-what-is aside, that thing called reflection is also born in winter. After a dizzying amount of running the streets, socializing, beach fun and festivals during warm, sunny seasons, I probably do need to go sit down somewhere and think about my life – how I’ve won, how I’ve failed, how I can be better. It is a natural time to gather myself, be still and reset. A reminder to rest, slow down, take the bad with the good and know that whatever is happening is just fine, and that this is the long, dark, quiet road to everything.

One day, I will live where there is no winter, but for now, I will swig vitamin D, exercise aggressively and do my work while waiting for the thaw.