How to Navigate Valentine’s Day Single


Art by Timie Charles via

  1.  Ignore it. It’s just a day. Just a retailer made-up money-pit holiday rife with the colors red and pink and silly expectations. AS IF a dozen roses and a box of chocolates could ever mean someone truly loves and appreciates you. AS IF you should have to share a day of romance with millions of other people. Pay more attention to what real love does the other 364 days of the year and get in line for that.
  2. Do whatever was already on your To Do list February 14th, even if it’s housecleaning, taxes, or a routine trip to the dentist.
  3. Work from home if you can swing it. There will be tons of Valentine-bots running around snapping up teddy bears, heart-shaped balloons and whatnot. Like zombies, they will be scary, but unlike zombies, they can’t gnaw through your front door and eat your brains.
  4. Celebrate something else entirely. This is only if you’re feeling left out, otherwise revisit #1. Celebrate your hands or a hot tub, your favorite meal or the way your best friend laughs. Anything that makes you feel special and cared for is the right thing. If you don’t have a list of your top ten ways to romance yourself, create one on Valentine’s Day because the best kind of loving is always self-love. Trust.
  5. You know that you can re-frame Valentine’s Day to suit your personal world view, right? Several decades ago, I started celebrating my birthday for a month, sometimes two, so it’s more of a season and because V-day is in the vicinity, it is the launch of my birthday season. If your b-day is adjacent or you want to invent a special day that is, then by all means make up your own holiday. Just do it.
  6. Strategize for day-after sales. Chocolate, roses, pampering gift sets, teddy bears, sex toys, lingerie. Most of it is going to be deeeeeply discounted on February 15th, so swoop in and treat yourself.
  7. Host a friends’ night in (or out). Only invite happily single, progressive, multi-dimensional people who do not equate being single to doomsday. Netflix and chill, Scrabble, make a nice meal (steak, seafood, sweets and wine are on sale today). Dance.
  8. Be happy for friends and co-workers who are milking the hell out of V-day. You know, the ones who tell you about the little love note her hubby wrote on the shell of her boiled egg (true story), who charged a spa session and claimed it was from her love because he didn’t know what to get her, who invite you to sniff the roses her boyfriend sent TO THE OFFICE even though you expressly know she does not like flowers and often gripes about his temper/laziness/face.
  9. Double up on your workout. Endorphins are endorphins, and sometimes you just want to feel pumped up, strong and vital. Storm the gym. It never fails.
  10. Buy yourself a book, draw organizers, Ninja blender, Groupon coupon for carpet cleaning or, you know, something else actually useful like red lipstick.
  11. If you want to believe in Valentine’s Day and you want a valentine, there’s no shame in that either as long as you’re not moping about or jealous of the coupled. Make a vision board or Wordle of qualities you seek in a mate and all you have to give to one, join a dating site (sign-up specials happening), let good friends play matchmaker, smile and flirt more and put the vibe out there that you are ready.
  12. Relax and recharge. Read a book. Give yourself a facial and mani-pedi. Play with your pet. Seriously. It will pass.


2 thoughts on “How to Navigate Valentine’s Day Single

  1. Great tips! I actually mixed a few of these yesterday. I love making V-Day my own with a day to go all out for myself. I bought steak (something I never do), gigantic shrimp lol, asparagus and wine for a special dinner. I bought strawberries, marshmallows, and brownie bites to make a sweet kabob :D. It was awesome. I even bought myself a bouquet of yellow roses. Just a beautiful evening. I do regret spending so much money though :(. I wish I could take my food back but its in my stomach now 😦

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